小兔菲寶寶
Logic Reasoning A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic. "Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?" A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?" 邏輯推理 小學(xué)四年級的教師正在給學(xué)生們上一堂邏輯課。她舉了這么一個例子：“有這樣一種情況，一個男人在河中心的船上釣魚，突然失去重心掉進(jìn)了水里。于是他開始掙扎并喊救命。他的妻子聽到了他的喊聲，知道他并不會游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。誰能告訴我這是為什么？” 一個女生舉手答道，“是不是去取他的存款？” [注]bank在英語中除了我們平時很熟悉的“銀行”之外，還有“河岸”的意思。
米老鼠NANA
1.What's the best day to eat fried fish and chips?那一天是最好的日子去吃炸魚和薯片？Fry-Day (近似"friday")2.What's the best month to eat toast?那一個月是最好的月份去吃土司？Jam-uary(jam意為果醬，而jam-uary又近似january一月，所以答案為一月）3.What do you get if you eat too much dessert?當(dāng)你吃太多的點(diǎn)心時你會得什么？A stomach-cake(本題答案想表達(dá)的是肚子痛，此答案和肚子痛stomach-ache相近）4.Monster school pupil: What are we cooking for lunch today?怪物學(xué)院學(xué)生：今天的午飯要煮什么？Monster school teacher: Shut up and go to the stove.怪物學(xué)院老師：閉嘴并去到擼子里。4. What's worse than finding a slug in your salad?有什麼比找到鼻涕蟲塞在你的沙拉？A half slug.半個鼻涕蟲。5.“waiter,waiter.There are some worms on my plate".服務(wù)員，服務(wù)員，我的盤子里有一些蟲子！"I didn't see any worms.Those are your sausages.我并沒有看到什么蟲子,那些是你的香腸。6.Why did the man stare at the carton of orange juice？為什麼男人盯著橙汁紙箱？Because it said 'concentrate'.因?yàn)樗f：“集中”。 7.Mother: Why are you jumping up and down? Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle. 媽媽：你為什么不停地跳上跳下的？ 湯姆：我剛吃完藥，可我忘了先搖動瓶子了8.A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.' 這里想對將要退休者提一點(diǎn)忠告。如果你只有65歲的話，千萬別進(jìn)退休社區(qū)。因?yàn)槟抢锶巳硕计甙耸畾q或者八九十歲了。每當(dāng)要搬東西，抬東西或者裝東西時，他們就叫喊，“讓小的干吧?！?.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他贏了 湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？ 約翰尼：他害病臥床了。他受了傷。 湯姆：真糟糕，怎么回事兒？ 約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠(yuǎn)，他贏了。 10.I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問，“發(fā)生了什么事？” “一個男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡說。 “再見到他你能認(rèn)出來嗎？”媽媽問。 “他走到哪里我都能認(rèn)出他，”伊凡說?！八亩溥€在我衣兜里呢?！?/p>
維尼蜜罐
One night just before Valentine's Day a woman had a lovely dream about a beautiful necklace.When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it could mean?""You'll find out on Valentine's Day." he said with a knowing smile.On Valentine's Day, the man gave his delighted wife a beautifully wrapped package.Excitedly, she opened it, only to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams".情人節(jié)前一天，一個女人做了個項(xiàng)鏈的夢。當(dāng)她醒來，她和她丈夫說：“我剛夢到你情人節(jié)給了我一根珍珠項(xiàng)鏈。你說那是什么含義呢？”。“到情人節(jié)那天你就會知道了。”他笑著說。情人節(jié)那天，男人給了他老婆一個禮盒。她很興奮地打開，看到的卻是一本書，書名是《夢的解析》。
流虹星607
1、英語笑話（一）
老師在黑板上寫了一句：Time?is?money.并讓同學(xué)們翻譯。有名學(xué)生答道：“湯姆是瑪麗。”
小明上英文課時跟老師說：May?I?go?to?the?toilet?
老師說：Go?ahead.
小明就坐了下來。過了一會兒，小明又跟老師說：May?I?go?to?the?toilet?
老師說：Go?ahead.
小明又坐了下來。他旁邊的同學(xué)于是忍不住問：你不是跟老師說要上廁所嗎？怎么不去？
小明說：你沒聽老師說「去你個頭」?。?/p>
2、英語笑話（二）
某日劉洪濤遇到外賓，上前搭話曰：I?am?hong tao?liu，外賓曰：我TM還是方片七呢！
3、英語笑話（三）
江青會見外賓，要求翻譯要嚴(yán)格按她的意思翻，不許走樣。外賓一見到江青，立刻拍馬屁道："Miss?Jiang,?you?are?very?beautiful."?翻譯照翻，江青心花怒?放，嘴上還要謙虛一下：“哪里，哪里”。
翻譯不敢怠慢，把江青的話翻成英文："Where??Where?"?外賓一愣，還有這樣的人，追問哪里漂亮的，干脆馬屁拍到底："Everywhere,?everywhere."
翻譯：“你到處都很漂亮?！苯喔吲d了，但總是要客氣一下：“不見得，不見得”。翻譯趕緊翻成英文："You?are?not?allowed?to?see,?you?are?not?allowed?to?see."
4、英語笑話（四）
話說某年某月的某一天，叁個神箭手約在一起比箭，目標(biāo)是十尺外仆人頭上的蘋果。A神箭手挽弓長射，咻一聲，利箭正中蘋果。A高傲的昂起下巴，比出一根大?拇指道：「I?AM后羿！」
B神箭手照本宣科，射中蘋果，這回他自大的喊了一句：「I?AM丘比特！」
輪到C了，他也挽弓，利箭射出！?結(jié)果正中仆人的心臟。就聽他結(jié)結(jié)巴巴好久才吐出一句：「I...I...I...AM...SORRY...」
5、英語笑話（五）
某人刻苦學(xué)習(xí)英語，終有小成。一日上街不慎與一老外相撞，?忙說：I?am?sorry.
老外應(yīng)道：I?am?sorry?too.
某人聽后又道：I?am?sorry?three.
老外不解，問：What?are?you?sorry?for?
某人無奈，道：I?am?sorry?five.
6、英語笑話（六）
一位來自日本的旅客，坐出租車去機(jī)場的路上，看到一輛汽車經(jīng)過，就說：“oh，TOyOTA！Made?in?Japan!?It?is?very?fast！”又有一輛經(jīng)過，他又說：?“oh，NISSAN！Made?in?Japan!?It?is?very?fast！”司機(jī)有點(diǎn)不高興，覺得他太吵了！當(dāng)?shù)谌v經(jīng)過時，他還是說：“oh，HONDA！Made?in?Japan!?It?is?very?fast！”
后來到了機(jī)場，那個日本人就問：“How?Much？”出租車司機(jī)說：“1000！”
日本人驚奇的問司機(jī)：“為什么那么貴？”出租車司機(jī)回答說：“oh，mileometer（計(jì)?程表）！Made?in?Japan!?It?is?very?fast！”
7、英語笑話（七）
傳說克林頓和教皇同一天去世，上帝搞錯了，把克林頓送上了天堂，而把教皇送入了?地獄。發(fā)現(xiàn)錯誤后上帝馬上改了回來，路上二人相遇。?精彩繼續(xù)教皇：感謝上帝，我終于能見到圣母瑪利亞了（Virgin?Maria）.?克林頓（壞笑中）：Sorry，it"s?too?late.
8、英語笑話（八）
小強(qiáng)去看電影，到了電影售票處，發(fā)現(xiàn)一個老外和售票小姐連說帶比得好半天，就自告奮勇的上前做翻譯，售票小姐說：麻煩你告訴她，現(xiàn)在坐票售完了只剩下站票，如果要看要站著看。
小強(qiáng)轉(zhuǎn)頭就對老外說：no?sit?see,?stand?see.?if?see?stand?see.
老外回答說:Sorry?I?don’t?understand?your?English.
小強(qiáng)就對售票小姐說：哦，他說他不懂英文....
踩了一個老外的腳，為了顯示咱國家是有名的禮儀之邦，就先SORRY啦，老外更是禮貌有加，就來個sorry?too.
two??the?chinese?puzzled.恩，咱中國人還不是得禮尚往來？！~那就I?am?sorry?three~???這下老外蒙了，一句what?are?you?sorry?for?
暈，還有完沒完啊，還FOUR？！~哼，偶跟你卯上了，Iam?sorry?five~(who怕?who？！~）
9、英語笑話（九）
我朋友在南大看到一非洲老外：“hello，你媽是猴兒?！崩贤庥眉冋奶旖蛟捳f：“你媽是大猩猩！”
10、英語笑話（十）
"Are?we?poisonous?"?the?young?snake?asked?his?mother.??"Yes,?dear,"?she?replied?-?"Why?do?you?ask?"??"Cause?I've?just?bitten?my tongue!?"
“我們有毒嗎？”一個年幼的蛇問它的母親?！笆堑?，親愛的，”她回答說，“你問這個干什么？”??“因?yàn)槲覄倓傄谱约旱纳囝^?！?/p>
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