Room out high people 世外高人

When the moonhas its ownlook up 明月幾時(shí)有 自己抬頭瞅

I am not a casual person,but it is not people casually 我不是隨便的人，但隨便起來就不是人

Other people's road,let others have no way out. 走別人的路，讓別人無路可走

Water to pure have no fish,people are invincible to 水至清則無魚，人至賤則無敵

Give me a girl,Ican create a nation 給我一個(gè)姑娘，我可以創(chuàng)造一個(gè)民族

I want to love,butalready late. 我想早戀，但是已經(jīng)晚了

Money is not a problem,the problem is no money 錢不是問題，問題是沒錢

夠不夠呢 ，，嗯哼？！

【第一條】英文：Examination and many children, so that the number of honest learned cheating.中文：考試害了多少個(gè)孩子，讓多少誠實(shí)的孩子學(xué)會(huì)了作弊。

【第二條】英文：For beautiful eyes, on the line, and told myself, my wife than they were.中文：對(duì)于美女，看兩眼就行，轉(zhuǎn)身告訴自己，我老婆比她們都好?！镜谌龡l】英文：Did you find, those who hate you, looks very ugly.中文：你有沒有發(fā)現(xiàn)，那些討厭你的人，長得都特別丑。

【第四條】英文：Since I will play QQ, I found my pinyin is getting better and better, the study did not have this effect.中文：自從會(huì)玩QQ后，我發(fā)現(xiàn)我拼音越來越好了，讀書都沒這效果。【第五條】英文：I have a flirt with hot chicks ability, but he is a girl.中文：我空有一身泡妞的本事，可惜自己是個(gè)妞。

【第六條】英文：I do not smoke cigarettes, is not lonely, second-hand smoke！中文：我抽的不是煙，也不是寂寞，是二手煙！【第七條】英文：Examination of people rely on strength, and I rely on the rich imagination.中文：考試有人靠的是實(shí)力，而我靠的是豐富的想象力?！镜诎藯l】英文：Abroad: Thought and ability is the key, the domestic: relationship and can run.中文：國外：思想和才能才是王道，國內(nèi)：關(guān)系和馬屁才能橫行。

【第九條】英文：The teacher said to hear and fine, I know he's salary.中文：聽到老師說又要開始罰錢，我就知道是他工資花完了?！镜谑畻l】英文：The man called the romantic love rich, rich in the coquettish woman.中文：男人情史豐富那叫風(fēng)流，女人情史豐富那叫風(fēng)騷。

【第十一條】英文：One, two people, three person is to fight at outrance.中文：一個(gè)人快活，兩個(gè)人生活，三個(gè)人就是你死我活?！镜谑l】英文：Grandpa Mao said, not to marry for the purpose of making object is bullying.中文：毛爺爺說，不以結(jié)婚為目的的搞對(duì)象都是耍流氓。

【第十三條】英文：Brother, you have to face the resolution is good？中文：大哥，把你臉上的分辨率調(diào)低點(diǎn)好嗎？【第十四條】英文：In heaven there is no white out the pie, but white out the bricks.中文：天上沒有白掉的餡餅，倒有白掉的磚頭。【第十五條】英文：Ideals are like the pants, have, but not everyone can go to prove that you have！中文：理想就像內(nèi)褲，要有，但不能逢人就去證明你有！【第十六條】英文：More to their fucking great time also can not compare with idiot years.中文：再多各自牛逼的時(shí)光 也比不上一起傻逼的歲月。

【第十七條】英文：Thinking of how far, how far you roll; light how fast, how fast you roll.中文：思想有多遠(yuǎn)，你就滾多遠(yuǎn)；光速有多快，你就滾多快?！镜谑藯l】英文：Chinese two big characteristics: one, don't love the truth; two, do not want to hear the truth.中文：中國人就兩大特點(diǎn)：一，不愛說實(shí)話；二，不愛聽實(shí)話。

【第十九條】英文：You look very Chinese, very dedicated, very backbone.中文：你長的很愛國，很敬業(yè)，很有骨氣?！镜诙畻l】英文：Germany is the only woman, I think I must be too mean.中文：女子無才便是德，我想我一定是太缺德了。

【第二十一條】英文：If you don't like brother talk about conscience, I did not, a few days just donated.中文：你丫別跟哥談良心，哥沒有，上幾天剛捐了?！镜诙l】英文：Go go go, don't waste the youth the two words, you are already the beginning of autumn.中文：去去去，別糟蹋青春那兩字了，你都已經(jīng)立秋了。

【第二十三條】英文：Women have two mouths, a mouth is a, a mouth to eat.中文：女人有倆張嘴，一張嘴道是非，一張嘴會(huì)吃人。【第二十四條】英文：In fact, the day classes can be short, the computer opening and closing the past.中文：其實(shí)，一天班可短暫了，電腦一開一關(guān)就過去了。

【第二十五條】英文：You have learned at school all forget, the rest is quality.中文：把你們?cè)趯W(xué)校所學(xué)的知識(shí)統(tǒng)統(tǒng)忘掉，剩下的7a686964616fe78988e69d8331333361316664就是素質(zhì)。【第二十六條】英文：Living half are bad luck, the other half is how to handle it.中文：活的一半是倒霉，另一半是如何處理倒霉。

【第二十七條】英文：Life can not cook, all the materials are ready was the pot.中文：人生不能像做菜，把所有的料都準(zhǔn)備好才下鍋?！镜诙藯l】英文：First scroll: Live meaningless, the second line of a couplet: Dutch act no courage, horizontal batch: white go back.中文：上聯(lián)：活著沒意義，下聯(lián)：自殺沒勇氣，橫批：白走一回。

【第二十九條】英文：My principle is: the person does not make me, I do not prisoners; if the person make me, I will get angry！中文：我的原則是：人不犯我，我不犯人；人若犯我，我就生氣！【第三十條】英文：After today, do not meet again, I am afraid to wake up every day to beat you many times.中文：過完了今天，就不要再見面，我害怕每天醒來揍你好幾遍。【第三十一條】英文：What I want, is shameless. What t。

1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you！" 醫(yī)生懂得多 一個(gè)男人在街上被出租車撞倒送進(jìn)了醫(yī)院.他的妻子站在他的床前對(duì)醫(yī)生說："我想他傷得很厲害."醫(yī)生說："我怕他已經(jīng)死了."聽到醫(yī)生的話，這個(gè)男人轉(zhuǎn)動(dòng)著頭說："我沒死，我還活著."妻子說："安靜，醫(yī)生比你懂得多." 2：英： You can't go without me The busis very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts. "It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him. "But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says. 譯： 沒有我你們走不了 公共汽車上很擁擠.一位男士想上車，但是沒有人給他讓路. "喂，讓我上車！"那位男士喊道. "車太擠了，你最好坐下一輛"車上的一位乘客對(duì)他說. "但是沒有我你們走不了.我是司機(jī)！"那位男士說道. 3:Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman！" 醉酒 一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。

這個(gè)孩子正處于那種對(duì)什么事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發(fā)問道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父親回答說，“你瞧那兒站著兩個(gè)警察。

如果我把他們看成了四個(gè)，那么我就算醉了?！?“可是，爸爸， ”孩子說，“那兒只有一個(gè)警察呀！” 4:Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃蘋果餡餅時(shí)，家里沒有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。

這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會(huì)兒，他拿著一片奶酪回到房間，把奶酪放在客人的盤子里。

客人微笑著把奶酪放進(jìn)嘴里說：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夾上，先生?！?/p>

那小男孩說。 5:Dear white, something you got to know When I was born, I was black.When I grow up, I am blackWhen I'm under the sun, I'm blackWhen I'm cold, I'm blackWhen I'm afraid, I'm black. When I'm sick, I'm black.When I die, I'm still black.you---white people,When you were born, you were pink.When you grow up, you become white.You're red under the sun.You're blue when you're cold.You are yellow when you're afraid.You're green when you're sick.You're gray when you die.And you, call me "color"？ 親愛的白種人，有幾件事你必須知道。

當(dāng)我出生時(shí)，我是黑色的我長大了，我是黑色的我在陽光下，我是黑色的我寒冷時(shí)，我是黑色的我害怕時(shí)，我是黑色的我生病了，我是黑色的當(dāng)我死了，我仍是黑色的。你---白種人，當(dāng)你出生時(shí)，你是粉紅色的。

你長大了，變成白色的。你在陽光下，你是紅色的。

你寒冷時(shí)，你是青色的。你害怕時(shí)，你是黃色的。

你生病時(shí)，你是綠色的。當(dāng)你死時(shí)，你是灰色的。

而你，卻叫我「有色人種」？ 6:Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。 “看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀！” “是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。

那爸爸去哪兒了呢？” 哥哥想了會(huì)兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當(dāng)時(shí)正在畫這些畫唄?！?7:How Many Rabbits? Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have? Jonathan: Nine, sir. Teacher: Nine? Jonathan: I've got one already, sir. 多少只兔子？ 老師：好，喬納森，假如我給你三只兔子，第二天我又給你五只，你一共有多少只兔子？ 喬納森：一共有九只，先生。

老師：九只？ 喬納森：先生，我本來就有一只。 8:These Are My Jeans After going on a diet,a woman felt 。

I Wasn't Asleep When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!" "I wasn't asleep," the man answered. "Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed." "I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car." 我沒有睡著 當(dāng)一群婦女上車之后，車上的座位全都被占滿了。

售票員注意到一名男子好象是睡著了，他擔(dān)心這個(gè)人會(huì)坐過站，就用肘輕輕地碰了碰他，說：“先生，醒醒！” “我沒有睡著。”那個(gè)男人回答。

“沒睡著？可是你眼睛都閉上了呀？” “我知道，我只是不愿意看到在擁擠的車上有女士站在我身邊而已?！盩he poor husband"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.可憐的丈夫“你根本無法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的難，”一個(gè)男人對(duì)他的朋友訴苦說，“她問我一個(gè)問題，然后自己回答了，過后又花半個(gè)小時(shí)跟我解釋為什么我的答案是錯(cuò)的?！?/p>

Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 父親在哪兒？ 兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。 “看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀！” “是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。

那爸爸去哪兒了呢？” 哥哥想了會(huì)兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當(dāng)時(shí)正在畫這些畫唄?！盌oes the dog know the proverb, too? The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog. "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?" "Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too？" 狗也知道這個(gè)諺語嗎？ 一個(gè)小男孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。

“沒有關(guān)系，”一位先生說，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺語嗎：‘吠狗不咬人?！?“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎？” 一 Can we have our teacher back? Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back？" 能讓我們的老師回去嗎？ 有一次，一位督學(xué)去視察一個(gè)只有三間教室的學(xué)校。

一間教室非常吵鬧，因此督學(xué)抓住其中一個(gè)正在站著說話的人，把他帶進(jìn)另一間教室，并讓他站在墻角。五分鐘以后，一個(gè)小男孩從第一間教室走進(jìn)來，問道，“您什么時(shí)候能讓我們的老師回去呢？” 二 Who's More Polite? A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down. 誰更有禮貌？ 一個(gè)胖子和一個(gè)瘦子在爭論誰更有禮貌。

瘦子說他更有禮貌，因?yàn)樗?jīng)常對(duì)女士摘帽示意。但是胖子認(rèn)為他更有風(fēng)度，因?yàn)闊o論什么時(shí)候他在車上給別人讓座時(shí)，總有兩位女士能坐下。

三 Expensive Price Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth. Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction. Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office. 昂貴的代價(jià) 牙科醫(yī)生：對(duì)不起，夫人，為給您的兒子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。 母親：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一顆牙只要五美元呀？ 牙科醫(yī)生：是的。

但是您兒子這么大聲地叫喚，他都嚇跑四位病人了。

Father:do you know?Today is a great occasion of nation stanza, the anti- day is also successful!

Son:??Great occasion of nation stanza?Is just Chinese?

Father:do you guess a foreign country to have?

Son:this I also don't know, affirming is "the country is disgusted with stanza"!

Father:。。

爸爸：你知道嗎？今天是國慶節(jié)，抗日也成功啦！

兒子：？？國慶節(jié)？只是中國的嗎？

爸爸：你猜猜外國有沒有？

兒子：這我還不知道，肯定是\"國厭節(jié)\"啦！

爸爸：。

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

一男子進(jìn)入教堂和上帝對(duì)話.他問："主啊， 一百萬美元對(duì)你意味著多少？"上帝回答："一便士."男子又問："那一百萬年呢？"上帝說："一秒鐘."最后男子請(qǐng)求道："上帝，我能得到一便士嗎？"上帝回答："過一秒鐘."

I`ve Just Bitten My Tongue

"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.

"Yes,dear," she replied. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I`ve just bitten my tongue!"

我剛咬了自己的舌頭

“我們有毒嗎？”一條年幼的蛇問它的媽媽。

“是的，親愛的，”她回答說，“你問這個(gè)干什么？”

“因?yàn)槲覄倓傄Я俗约旱纳囝^！”